How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
