i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
