she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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