I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You were trust falling into bushes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
