So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
well you can't waste a boner
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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