At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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