Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Randomize
