we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
