He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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