I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Pooping to opera.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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