You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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