that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
