I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
