How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
