dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
