I'm lost and stupid without you.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
