wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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