She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
