Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
i think my cat just said my name.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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