There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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