She announced her abortion via fbk
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
