What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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