I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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