guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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