I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
