Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
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Capitaan dildo arrescate!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
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Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize