Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
