If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
