you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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