I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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