We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
