Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
