Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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