oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
