Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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