sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
