census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
