Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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