I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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