just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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