wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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