Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
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Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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