How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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