She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
