Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
