how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
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the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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