i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
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