I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Then you guys just all showered together...?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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