i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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