I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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