If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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