i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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