guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
