my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
