when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
