you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I want her autograph on my taint
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
