Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Randomize
