He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
