So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
