are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
