ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
