I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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