i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
