that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
