Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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