The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
