Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
