All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
