with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
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