is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Randomize
