Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
